Workshop Reflection for your Blog

In the initial class session we got the opportunity to read and revise our classmates Exploratory Essay. This process was a wonderful experience because it enabled us to think from another person's perspective. We were asked to form a group based on our inquiry groups, which consisted of three intelligent young ladies, Rachel Pilkington, Dominica Beverley and Kayla Edge. Individually, we were granted 15 minutes to be critiqued, which was just enough time for us to point out the things that one did well on and also point the things that we saw needed improvement.  

Instead of reading our own essays aloud, we took the approach of reading the student's essay to the right of us. This allowed each of us to hear our essays being narrated from another student's voice. When my time came to be critiqued, My Exploratory Essay was narrated by Dominica Beverley. She read it loudly and with clarity so I could hear where there may be any holes in my writing. As the writer I sat in the passenger seat and let my readers' do the driving. To begin with, Rachel Pilkington gave me valuable feedback. She did a great job in stating that my essay needed better paragraph structure and formatting because I failed to include the required MLA format. Also, Ms. Pilkington stressed that I could use an alternative when incorporating my quotes but she made a final point of correcting grammar. I believe that focusing on punctuation and grammar was the least effective advice for me in being that this was only the first draft. Another student, Dominica Beverley, enlightened me on my use of citations. Ms. Beverley stated that I excessively referenced the authors and that it would behoove me to incorporate a work citied page. My purpose for writing was questioned by her because she indicated that my writing was starting to become a list of answered questions. The last reader in my group, Kayla Edge, argued that I should better incorporate my questions in my paragraph and that maybe I should maybe start off my paragraphs with the questions I formed. Ms. Edge also pointed out that I could improve my writing by forming a better relationship with my paragraphs and it would help if sometimes I referenced back to a previous paragraph. She concluded by stating that my writing needed better transitioning so again, it would not sound like a list of answered questions. I believe Kayla presented me with the most effective advice because through her advice I am now aware of how to improve the flow and structure of my writing, Overall, I believe that the readers did a great job in taking control of this session but they understood their roles and did not overstep their boundaries. They all agreed that I did an exceptionally well with emphasizing the author’s main points and opinions instead of my own. Throughout the whole process I think that we really bonded and they played the role of a friend and a classmate instead of a teacher. In conclusion, I believe they all reached their common goal which was to help me better understand how to improve my writing.

Moreover, when approaching revision I will first tackle the importance of revision and ask myself if certain things in my writing are valuable enough to be elaborated on, if my writing explains my overall theme and if the reader will understand my purpose of writing. Then there are a few steps that I will take when revising my writing. To begin, I will confront the main issues of my writing. Next, I will acknowledge whether my individual sentences are appropriate to my writing, i.e., whether they meet the demands of my writing. With this done, I will be allowed to generalize my theme and make sure it is not too specific. I will then incorporate the advice given to me by my classmates. For example, revising my paragraph format and sentence structure, reference the author when needed, work on better transitioning and finally, focus on punctuation and grammar. Lastly, I will rethink my purpose of writing to make sure it is understandable and appealing to the reader. Additionally, I plan expanding on my resources by taking my writing to the writing resource center which is located in Cameron Hall 149.

Exploratory Essay

Throughout this semester I have been the granted the opportunity to read a couple of intriguing articles and within these articles I have been able to find a theme that is consistent throughout them.  Each of these articles focus on students and their inability to fully progress is school based on their social class, race or gender. After reading three articles that correlated with one another, I was left with various questions which led to my exploration. Through my research I was able to discover three authors whose arguments answered my questions on these issues.

What types of socio-economic classes are currently present in education?

   Currently, there are differences in student work in classrooms in contrasting social class communities. Jean Anyon, in “Social Class and the Hidden Curriculum”, argues that there is a massive gap in the quality of education between schools in wealthy communities and schools in poor communities (Anyon). According to Bettie Julie in “Women without Class”, girls’ across race and performance have the ability to dominate men in schools (Julie). Underprivileged students are being cheated and are unaware of the power in humanities. Earl Shorris, in “On the Uses of a Liberal Education”, implies that these underprivileged students are a product of their environment and they have been shaped by the society around them (Shorris).

What ladders of socio-economic class are we currently seeing in education?

   Jean Anyon believes that different economic backgrounds are already being prepared to occupy particular steps of social ladders (Anyon). She indicates that some schools are on the occupational education track, while others are preparing future doctors, lawyers and business leaders. Anyon, through her investigations, has classified schools into four categories, the “Working Class Schools”, “Middle-Class Schools”, “Affluent Professional School” and “Executive Elite School”.  

  Also, Anyon argues that the classwork in Middle-Class schools lack creativity and is based out of the textbook and the student perspective was not included. In math when the teacher explains a process there is supposed to be recognition that a cognitive process is involved. In social studies students read passages and answer questions based on whether they read it and understand what they read. Students in language arts are taught grammar and how to read and write properly. These teaching practices are to help the students store facts until they need it for a future test or job. Overall, Anyon believes that Middle-class schools are supposed to prepare you for college or a job (Anyon).

What factors account for the vast differences in treatment of particular social classes?

   Anyon argues that schools in wealthy communities better prepare their students for desirable jobs than those in poor communities. She believes there is a big difference in teaching methods and philosophies of education and that public schools in complex industrial societies make available different types of educational experience and curriculum knowledge to students in different social classes (Anyon).

    Bettie Julie suggests that there is unequal treatment of genders in the school setting. She claims that school teachers treat girls’ strategies as if they were harmless. Julie believes that based on your race and performance you are aware of your ability to violate rules without any consequence as a result of teachers. Boys are perceived to be troublemakers while girls are sought to be harmless. Julie believes that girls of all races and social class knew that they could break the same rules as the boys did, but it would result in less punishment. Girls get out of gym class by faking menstrual cramps, and are excused by their use of vulgar language in public. These girls realize that they can survive without a man’s support and that they do not have to be dependent on male. Bettie Julie stresses that fights evolved around certain racial groups and insulting comments tend to be said between groups (Julie).

 According to Earl Shorris people learn the humanities and the political life in private schools and expensive universities. Rich people first learn the humanities. The humanities are a foundation for getting along in the world, for thinking, for learning to reflect on the world instead of just reacting to whatever force is turned against you. Shorris believes that Rich people know politics in the broad sense. They know how to negotiate instead of using force. They know how to use politics to get along, to get power. Knowing the humanities helps you live better and enjoy life more. It will make you rich in terms of life. “He thinks the humanities are one of the ways to become political, and I don’t mean political in the sense of voting in an election but in the broad sense (Shorris).”

How does one overcome the adversities attributed in socio-economic classes?

Shorris designates that by gaining knowledge of the humanities, underprivileged students can become politically savvy. He believes that they must understand politics in order to gain legitimate power. The humanities will help. There will be challenges and you will be forced to use your mind more fully. Students have to come to class in the snow and rain and are required to understand that no one will pamper them. Also, nothing but a certificate of completion at the end of the course is promised. You will have to want to learn using the richness of your mind and spirit. One should know a more effective method for living in this society (Shorris).

Responding - Really Responding - to Other Students’ Writing

In this article the author, Richard Straub, gives the audience guidance on how to properly read, evaluate and respond to student writing. Straub gives ideas on what to look for, how to sound, and the goals to create when helping the writer. He stresses pushing the writer out of their comfort zone and the pointing out issues you may have encountered while reading their paper. Once you have established the holes in the paper it is important for you to start looking for areas of improvement in a constructive way.  It is essential for you to establish the goals that you want to accomplish and understand your role as the reader. Keep in mind that the reader should share their understanding of the reading with the writer and convey what they found intriguing. With this done, you can grasp what the writer is missing, which leads to asking questions and offering suggestions. Before you begin reading the paper it is essential to understand the circumstances of the writing. Straub made four critical points that support these circumstances. The reader should “look at the writing in terms of the assignment, the writer’s particular interest and aims, the work you’ve perused in class and the stage of drafting”. When looking at the writing in terms of the assignment, ask yourself whether the writer met the requirements of the particular kind of writing. Is the paper supposed to be a letter? A report? An analysis? Consider what the writer wants to achieve. Is the writer reflecting on a past experience? Or is the writer telling a narrative? What is the significance? Assist the reader in connecting what they are learning in class to what their writing. This may include adding detail, finding innovative methods to argue a subject, or clarifying these arguments even better. In this process, be sure to comfort the writer so that the writer can do more than he/she usually does. Focus on the stage of drafting and recognize whether the paper is a rough draft or final draft. In early drafting concentrate on the content, arrangement and writing style. When dealing with the final draft in addition to the overall content, consider fine-tuning sentences and dealing with detail but only as suggestions. Moreover, it is vital to understand the writer’s style when commenting on their paper.  Use your comments to address the key points of your response and also to elaborate on what you want the writer to get out of your response. When you respond to the writer, respond based on the relationship you have with the writer. You want to keep the response as normal as possible, just as if you were having a general conversation with the writer. Be sure to keep your comments in your space and not covered all over the paper.

I agree that the author argued his points well for responding to other students’ writing. Straub did a great job elaborating on the circumstances of writing. He used valid examples and strong supporting details. Also, he made sure he did not beat around the bush and he specified his reasoning. Rich Straub even went on to display how a correctly commented paper should look. I surely appreciate the author’s recognition of the audience he was sharing the information with.

The golden line that surely stood out to me was, “this means looking at the writing in terms of the assignment, the writer’s particular interest and aims, the work you’ve been doing in class, and the staging of drafting”(pg. 138).

On the Uses of a Liberal Education

            The author of this passage, Earl Shorris enlightens an underprivileged group of students on how they fail to comprehend the humanities. Knowledge of the humanities would be essential in helping them make political decisions.  Shorris is implying that these students are a product of their environment and that they have been shaped to by the means of society around them. Since the Rich know the rules of society it enables them to gain power and in this sense, push whatever laws and regulations they want to enact.  He argues that the Rich are exposed to learning the humanities through private schools and expensive universities keeping them up to date on issues and decisions while the poor’s position remains cyclical. By understanding the humanities the Rich are enabled to properly learn, think and react to society. Since the underprivileged lack education of the political system they aren’t able to use the same effective means of influence. This causes the poor to use force in order to gain their wants and needs. This can be through violence or selling drugs. In society violence and narcotics are against the law so when these rules are broken they have to suffer the consequences.

            Earl Shorris argues his point very well by attempting to teach his underprivileged students how to become politically savvy by gaining knowledge of the humanities. Shorris uses numerous teaching methods to educate them on how to be effective within society.  These teaching methods incorporated innovation, student interaction and influence and creativity. The students took a visit to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to see the Temple of Dendur and the Egyptian Galleries. Samantha Smoot, who in a previous class session stated that people in her neighborhood believe that it” wasn’t no use goin’ to school, because the white people wouldn’t let you up no matter what”, began to make connections of culture and art. This shows the audience that Shorris proposed a new way of thinking. It also displays the fostering of Samantha’s understanding of education being essential in society. When Charles Simmons refused to let the class read his poems, he sparked “a tug-of-war between him and the students” displaying a student-to-student interaction. His questionnaire to the class about their experience with poems influenced a student by the name of Hector to express his experience with poems. Hector expressed his poem differently then Charles Simmons. He expressed them through Hip-Hop, which he was extremely skilled at. I agree with Shorris’s argument and I believe that he proposed ways for the underprivileged students to become political through diversity and creativity. The line, “The humanities are a foundation for getting along in the world, for thinking, for learning to react on the world instead of just reacting to whatever force is against you”, really stood out to me. I believe that it summarized the author’s argument and explained what he was attempting to propose to the group of underprivileged students. Earl Shorris gave his students an ultimatum to use the humanities they learned in his course to fight the force that is against them in society. By the end of his course, the students became humanitarians. 

Do We Really Deserve?

In class we engaged in a debate about the article, “In the Basement of the Ivory Tower”, in which the discussion was very opinionated. The article gives the audience insight to the adversities an older woman faces as she attempts to make her return back to a university. After reading this article, it led us to ask “is everyone worthy of having the opportunity to go to college?” and with that opportunity being presented, “does everyone have the ‘equal' opportunity to go to college?” I concluded that everyone does deserve the opportunity to go to college but a university may not be fit for everyone. One’s ability to learn is dependent upon the level of education and the pact that they are learning at. Some people may learn and adapt to certain environments at a fast pace while others may learn and adapt to that same environment at a different pace. We could see various positive effects from someone who is granted this opportunity. Being educated could enable one to positively contribute to their community. I believe that knowledge is power and by applying what you have learned you surely affect the people around you.

Moreover, I also believe that everyone has an equal opportunity to go to college, but everyone may not have been equally prepared to go to college. This becomes evident as we focus on social classes. As we discovered in the “Social Class and Hidden Curriculum of Work”, most schools are divided by class. We can conclude that students with different economic backgrounds are being prepared differently for college. It is implied that “everyone has an equal opportunity to go college”, but when certain adversities within one’s race, gender and social class comes into effect, we then become aware that everyone is not being equally prepared to go to college. A child who lives in a two-story house in Rochester, New York will most likely have an advantage over a child, who lives in public housing in New Orleans, Louisiana. The different resources, teaching methods, and at-home support these children receive become factors of these children’s preparation.

Women without Class Reading Response

This reading, Women without Class, describes girl culture and their gender performance of working class females in schools. It features girls’ across race and performance and their ability to dominate men in the school setting. They realized that they could survive without a man’s support and that they could not be dependent on male. In result these working-class females wanted economic-independence so they formed a “men are dogs” theme which was established upon them. This reading goes on to describe the unequal treatment of genders in the school setting. It was remarkable to see school teachers treat girls’ strategies as if they were harmless. Based on your race and performance you were aware of your ability to violate rules without any consequence as a result of teachers. Boys were perceived to be troublemakers while girls were sought to be harmless. Girls got out of gym class by faking menstrual cramps, and were excused by their use of vulgar language in public. It surprised me that fights were just as common in females as they were in males. Fights evolved from racial differences which resulted in the “girl fights” that we have all grown to know. If a male slept around with many partners they were not seen in a certain type of way in opposition to a female. Different actions were taken in certain situations depending on your class. Abortions were predominant in White females but rarely seen Hispanic females, so most of the young mothers were Hispanic.

            The author argued his point very well. He used many detailed information and examples to support his argument. It took time for him to gather his information by doing research and he showed the differences in actions within social classes. I agree with the author’s research. It opened my eyes because I now can remember seeing these actions high school. We as males were seen as troublemakers in the classroom and the majority of the young mothers were Hispanic. 

Social Class and the Hidden Curriculum of Work Reading Response

In “Social Class and the Hidden Curriculum of Work” the author, Jean Anyon, produces an argument which elaborates on the presence of a massive gap in the quality of education between schools in wealthy communities and the quality of education in schools in poor communities. Typically, the resources in which are distributed to the schools in these communities are the topic of discussion, but in this case Anyon dares to be different by challenging the teaching methods and philosophies of education incorporated in these schools. Anyon’s curiosity of these school’s social differences leads her to observe the different teaching methods and student outputs in five different fifth-grade classrooms within five different elementary schools. Anyon, through her investigations, permits herself to classify schools in four categories. There is the “Working Class Schools”, “Middle-Class Schools”, “Affluent Professional School” and “Executive Elite School”. Just as in any other society, the working-class schools linger at the bottom of the socio-economic ladder while the executive elite school, on the other hand, flourishes at the top of the socio-economic ladder. Anyon concluded that students with different economic backgrounds are being prepared to serve roles based on their place on the socio-economic ladder.

According to Anyon, in the middle-class school good grades are dependent upon getting a sufficient amount of correct answers. Effort is encouraged, but one is mostly tested on whether they can follow directions in order to acquire the correct answers. Obtaining the correct answers often requires some type of self-decision-making. For example, as a student, it would behoove me to understand the context of the directions and produce an answer without the assistance of my teacher. Answers are often given by the teachers, which requires you to listen intensively and take notes, or in books which requires further research outside of your teacher’s lecture. Also, answers, which frequently consist of “words, sentences, numbers, or facts and dates”, are hypothetically factual and in chronological order.  Subjects that are generally taught by teachers such as, math, social studies and language arts all focus on meeting a universal objective. This universal objective is to assure that the student thoroughly understands what he or she is undertaking.  In math, when a teacher clarifies the correct way of doing a math problem, there is “recognition that a cognitive process” has occurred and he or she wants to make sure that you understand what you are doing so you may obtain the correct answers. Furthermore, Social studies often incorporate the reading of an event and understanding what you have read. Lastly, language arts empower you to improve your grammar and to speak and write properly. All of these factors leads to Anyon’s argument that middle-class schools fail to analyze how and why things happen. They steer away from topics that will spark the curiosity of children. Middle-class schools are unsuccessful with considering the critical perspective of children because they believe that the children’s critical perspective will create controversy; specifically with parents. In result these teachers do not further elaborate on the lesson plans in the curriculum. There is little attention paid to the creativity in children’s schoolwork. Decisions made by the teachers are based on “external rules and regulations”. It is sad to say that the interest and feelings of the children are put on hold so they can prepare for college or a job.

I believe that Jean Anyon argued her point well that students with different economic backgrounds are being prepared to serve roles based on their place on the socio-economic ladder. Anyon described the different levels of school and she used valid points and examples to support her argument. She must assume that the reason why there is such a vast gap between the qualities of education in the different communities is because of the level of financial support and the inside sources within each community. Poor communities lack the support and teaching methods that wealthy communities possess. What action is our country taking today to diminish this gap? Will the reduction of this gap lower competition in other countries and enable us to focus on the prosperity of our economy?

In conclusion, I agree with Jean Anyon’s argument. I believe that her curiosity of these school’s social differences has enlightened the audience of how the school systems operate depending on your community. Also, I agree that middle-class schools fail to incorporate the critical perspective and creativity of children in their school work. Hypothetically, if schools focused more on the interest of children it would bring communities together and enable them to see their similarities rather than their differences.

“It may be shocking, however, to learn how vast the differences in schools are - not so much in resources as in teaching methods and philosophies of education.” I chose this as my golden line because it indicates to the audience that we are misinterpreting the issue in schools today. The issues lie within our teaching methods and the lack of our countries support of poor communities and not in the lack of resources provided to schools.

Response to Comments

What was the most helpful piece of advice you received? Explain.

The most helpful piece of information that I received was from comment MF3. This is the most helpful piece because it’ll help me establish the main argument of this paper through describing my writing history and my development as a writer. I believe that I can improve my paper by elaborating more on my writing history and by relating it to my reading history and experiences.

What was the least helpful piece of advice you received? Explain.

            The least helpful piece of information that I received was from comment MF1. Comment MF1 was the least helpful because the presence of my obligatory introduction won’t negatively or positively affect my paper.

What questions do you have about Megan’s comments?

Megan how do you approach brainstorming?

How did you collect your advise?

What are your plans for revision? Be specific. I should be able to understand exactly how your work will change in exactly which places.

In my plan for revision I will first, reevaluate my thesis statement. If I reconsider a couple of my main ideas I can possibly improve my paper. Furthermore, I will consider the advice I was given in Megan’s comments and elaborate on them. I will proceed to spend more time talking about my writing history and how my experiences have affected me as a writer in my body paragraphs. Next, I will rearrange my body paragraphs and tackle the main points. Finally, I will add supporting details and personal writing experiences to these main points and conclude my main points.